It's about how it makes you feel.

A lot of times people don't start things because they feel so far away from the results.  Whether it's running or training for something else, or learning something new like playing guitar or crocheting...getting good at it feels  very out of reach.  So they just don't.

People tell me all the time, in reference to running, that they could never do it: "I don't know how you do it.  I could never do it."  I always tell them I started at the beginning.  Barring injuries, all it takes is dedication (or hard-headedness...)

Whether or not you think your actions can make a difference in your life, starting and believing means more than just getting you to where you want to end up.  Taking a stand changes you in the present.  I became different when I became a runner.  I looked at my surroundings differently.  I felt my strength growing and I translated it into prayer, sending that strength to the people who came into my mind, or searching my mind for the people I knew who needed what I was digging into.  I don't look at it as God giving me that strength when I became a runner, though, but that it was always there.  And when I concentrated on sending that strength to other people, it was prayer to me because I wanted them to have something that was of God in me.  My way of praying for people.

Who knows if it has ever helped anyone.  It helps me.  Taking a stand for things in life is similar.  It doesn't matter if it ever makes a difference.  It's about me and what I do.  What I choose to do affects me in the present, affects other people in the present.

Your vote in an election may seem to not count.  It's unlikely that my vote will ever affect the outcome of any election.  That's not the point.  The point is how I feel for voting, for going and being involved in the process. It affects how I feel about myself and how I feel about my country.  This is not one of those "You can't complain if you don't vote" kind of things.  Complain away.  How does that feel?

I tell myself all the time, I could skip this run or cut that run short by 3 miles and really, how is it going to affect my overall training?  Not at all, probably, but it will affect how I feel about myself that day, and those effects are cumulative.  So much hinges on where I am in my mind.

I want to be an open-minded person, interested in hearing other points of view and thinking them through.  Sometimes I take things personally.  Sometimes it feels personal to me when it's totally not to the other person.  Sometimes I need to speak up and other times it might be better to let it go.  It depends--on the effect speaking up might have and on how I will feel about myself and my actions.

I just read a piece online suggesting that the real way to respond to chick-fil-a is for lots and lots of gay people to go there and be visible.  Dan Cathy doesn't care if no gay people go there ever again.  That's another point of view to consider.  Visibility can do more than anger in many situations.

Yesterday was the first of two 20 milers I have planned for training for Tupelo.  It was the morning of a hot day but the run felt...fine.  The humidity was low-ish and I ran smart and stayed hydrated.  I bathed in water fountains and stalked yard sprinklers, even danced and laughed in the sprinkler on the JHS practice field.  The water felt so cool and so beautiful I couldn't help but pull my hat off and just laugh.  It didn't hurt, I didn't struggle, and I'm not sore today.  That means I could be pushing harder, but I'm going to branch out into some other areas of fitness instead of pushing harder with running.  Let running be calm and comfortable for now.

I dug in a little in the last couple of miles.  I wanted a short walk, but I thought, say there were 2 miles left in a marathon.  How do I feel?  Would I want myself to walk now if this were the race?  Would I need to?  No, of course not.  Push through it.

This week is another fall-back week, then another big week, then tapering.  After Tupelo I would like to do one marathon a month (or even a 50k) until the end of the year, or maybe until March and the next Little Rock Marathon.  It's easier that way...