Today started early with Race for the Cure. I picked up my sister (who was ready!!) and we went on downtown to find Lee Lee (a 9 year survivor and absolute badass) and put on our super awesome pink feathered headbands. Katie and I did our best to keep up with her during the walk. We had a great time, made some memories, and stayed around for the survivor parade at 9:30. It was really powerful to see all those women holding signs saying how many years they've survived.
I encountered some negativity on facebook (imagine that.) I can understand, to an extent, where it comes from. Where are the 44,000 people walking for AIDS or FAS awareness? All I can say is that negativity doesn't grow anything. Race for the Cure didn't grow from negativity, it grew, I'm assuming, from determination. I don't argue for the perfection of anything, but I think showing love and support always comes before discounting the importance of anyone's effort. I'm grateful for today because I got to show my love and support for someone who, in the past few months, has become more important to me than I could have known, someone who has beat breast cancer twice and come through with a grit that I very much admire. And because I got to be with my sister. And because we looked fabulous.
When I got home I decided, despite the breakfast Katie and I downed at IHOP, that I wanted to go ahead and get my long run out of the way instead of saving it for tomorrow. So I went out for 8 miles. It felt good and solid and my knee didn't give me any problems. I was happy to have it done, and I'm happy to feel like I'm back in training.
I spent a lot of time during my run today thinking about how to make bad situations better. I had some students on Friday who really brought me down, and I want to make that situation better for both me and those kids. I have an idea of what to do, and it shows me how much I've changed over the past year, how maybe my mind and heart are shifting from "How to justify the suckiness of this situation" to "How to make this situation better regardless of who created it." My sister told me (in an unrelated conversation) that the anti-depressants may be making me think I can do crazy things, but if that's the case, at least I'll try some crazy things and maybe they'll work. (She's on them, too, and they make her think she can be PTA president, which she is doing--and I'm proud of her!)
And I thought, again, about how much running is like life. I will never be an elite runner, but I hope to always be able to keep running, keep getting out there and doing what I do. I'll never be an elite teacher, either, but I want to keep getting better and thinking up new ways to make kids laugh or feel like they belong. I'm not the best mom in the world or best partner or sister or daughter, but it matters to me to keep thinking about how to do it better. Just keep getting out there. Every run is a new opportunity, and it may be amazing, or solid, or ok, or sucky. That I can do it at all is a blessing.
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